Computer Jokes — best jokes

Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
→ Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got 585.999983605.

What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?
→ "Life is like a box of chocolates..." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)

Complete the following word analogy:

Add is to Subtract as Multiply is to: 1) Divide 2) ROUND 3) RANDOM 4) On a Pentium, all of the above
→ Number 4.

What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?
→ Successive approximations.

What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on Pentiums?
→ The warning label.

What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant?
→ A mad scientist.

How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.

Five cannibals get appointed as programmers in an IT company.

During the welcoming ceremony the boss says:
"You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees."

The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.

Four weeks later the boss returns and says:
"You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our cleaners has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?"

The cannibals disavow all knowledge of the missing cleaner. After the boss has left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the cleaner?"

A hand raises hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says:
"You fool! For four weeks we've been eating Team Leaders, Managers, and Project Managers so no-one would notice anything, and you have to go and eat the cleaner!"

"This little computer," said the sales clerk, "will do half of your job for you."

Studying the machine, the senior VP said, "Fine, I'll take two."

There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer.
Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.

The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to trace where a fault might have occurred. The chemical engineer, not knowing much about cars, suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified and getting blocked somewhere.

Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything, comes up with a suggestion, 'Why don't we close all the windows, get out, get back in, open the windows again, and maybe it'll work !?'