Computer Jokes — best jokes

Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?
→ Because it is below C level.

The boy is smoking and leaving smoke rings into the air.
The girl gets irritated with the smoke and says to her lover: "Can't you see the warning written on the cigarettes packet, smoking is injurious to health!"

The boy replies back:
"Darling, I am a programmer. We don't worry about warnings, we only worry about errors."

Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.

A system programmer came home from work almost at dawn and told his wife enthusiastically: "Tonight I have installed a new release of MVS/ESA together with VM/CMS and CICS/VS".
"G.O.O.D" answered his wife.

How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
→ Give him a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat."

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?
→ Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

The attention span of a computer is as long as its electrical cord.

My computer isn't that nervous. It's just a bit ANSI.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Computers are not intelligent.
They only think they are.