Computer Jokes — best jokes

- Doctor, Doctor, my little brother thinks he's a computer.

- Well bring him in so I can cure him.

- I can't, I need to use him to finish my homework.

- Doctor, doctor, can I have a bottle of aspirin and a pot of glue?

- Why?

- Because I've been at my computer all day and I've got a splitting headache!

Whats the difference between a 90s woman and a computer?
→ A 90s woman won't accept a three-and-a-half-inch floppy.

What happens if you put the Energizer Bunny's batteries in backwards?
→ He keeps coming and coming and coming...

What did the dentist say to the computer?
→ This won't hurt a byte

- I've been e-mailing William Shakespeare.

- William Shakespeare's dead, silly.

- No wonder he hasn't replied.

Two fonts walk into a line dance club. The barman says to them, "Get out. We don't serve your type here."

A computer geek goes to prison for fraud, they put him in a cell with a 300LB guy,

Having heard what happens to geeks in prison and being nervous he figures he had better introduce himself, He extends his hand and says with a quivering voice, Hi my name is John Smith.

The big guy who actually is a nice guy extends his and says my name is Turner Brown.

The geek passes out.

The big guy fans him and brings him too.

Why did you pass out he asked?

The geek replies, what did you say your name was?

Turner Brown he replies.

Oh God the geek says I thought you said "TURN AROUND".

What do you get if you cross a cow, a french fry, and a sofa?
→ A cowch potato!

How can you identify a computer that has been in use at the Clinton White House?
→ There is White-out on the screen.