Clean Jokes — best jokes

A lady went to bed and turned out all the lights. Later she awoke and heard a crash, instantly she died of shock. What kind of house did she live in?
→ A LIGHTHOUSE!!!

What do you call a guy who hangs around?
→ Art!

How is a dog's tail like the center of a tree?
→ It's furthest from the bark!

Why did the jellybean jump off the cliff?
→ Because he wanted to be a smarty!

How much do pirates pay to get their ears pierced?
→ A Buccaneer!

What did King Tut say to the museum?
→ I want my mummy!

This just in: A well known college professor has been arrested and accused of putting marijuana in the food that seagulls consume. When asked why he did this he stated - "I want to leave no tern unstoned"

We have a tree in our yard, terribly bothered by blight.

We sought professional help and had a tree surgeon come to look at it. In his assessment, he noted that the blight was bad, but he was even more concerned with the deep cracks in the bark.

"In fact," he said, "This tree's bark is worse than its blight!"

What happens when a frog parks illegaly?
→ It gets toad!

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
→ He didn't have the guts!