Christmas Jokes — best jokes

What song do Father Christmas' gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night?
→ Freeze a jolly good fellow!

- Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

- Gnome: Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

What do gnomes fear most about Christmas?
→ They're afraid Father Christmas will give them the sack!

I wouldn't say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed, but when they cry the tears run down their back!

I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are ugly, But if beauty's skin deep then they were was born inside out!

I wouldn't say Christmas gnomes are small.
But they used to be lumberjacks on a mushroom farm!

- My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it!

- Doctor: Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera.

- Doctor, Doctor I'm scared of Father Christmas

- Doctor: You're suffering from Claus-trophobia.

- Doctor, Doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep.

- Try lying on the edge of your bed...you'll soon drop off!

- Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a Christmas bell!

- Just take these pills - and, if they don't work, give me a ring!