Blonde Jokes — best jokes

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said:

- Look at that dog with one eye!

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes:

- Why?

A blonde buys a plane ticket to Miami. (It's a coach Ticket). When she gets on the plane she sits in first class.

The steward who checks tickets says:

- I'm so sorry, this is a coach ticket and your sitting in 1st class.

- I can do What-eva I want, I'm a blonde.

Well I'll get the pilot.

The pilot comes and whispers in the blondes ear and she leaves. The steward looks amazed and says:

- What did you say?

The pilot simply says:

- I told her 1st class wasn't going to Miami, just coach was!!!

- ARTERY--The study of fine paintings.

- BARIUM--What you do when CPR fails.

- BENIGN--What yoiu are after you be8.

- CAESAREAN SECTION--A district in Rome.

- COLIC--A sheep dog.

- COMA--A punctuation mark.

- CONGENITAL--Friendly.

- DILATE--To live longer.

- FESTER--Quicker.

- G.I. SERIES--Baseball game between teams of soldiers.

- GRIPPE--A suitcase.

- HANGNAIL--A coat hook.

- MEDICAL STAFF--A Doctor's cane.

- MINOR OPERATION--Coal digging.

- MORBID--A higher offer.

- NODE--Was aware of.

- ORGANIC--Church musician.

- OUTPATIENT--A person who has fainted.

- POST-OPERATIVE--A letter carrier.

- PROTEIN--In favor of young people.

- SECRETION--Hiding anything.

- SEROLOGY--Study of English knighthood.

- TABLET--A small table.

- TUMOR--An extra pair.

- URINE--Opposite of you're out.

- VARICOSE VEINS--Veins which are very close together.

Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners?
→ So brunettes can remember them.

What is black and blue and brown lying in a ditch?
→ A brunette who has told too many blonde jokes.

A red-head, a brunette, and a blonde went on a trip to the desert.

They each brought one item for survival.

The red-head brought water. The blonde asked:

- Why? - The red-head replied:

- To prevent us from dying of thirst.

The brunette brought food. The blonde asked:

- Why? - The brunette replied:

- To prevent us from dying of hunger.

The blonde brought a car door. The red-head and brunette asked:

- Why? - The blonde replied:

- To roll down the window if it gets hot.

What do you get if put a blonde upside down?
→ A brunette with a bad breath.

How do you break the nose on a blonde?
→ You put a dildo under a glass table!

What do you call a blonde in a freezer?
→ A frosted Flake!

How can you tell when a blonde is having a bad day?
→ When she has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

Where do you see blonde, brunette, blonde, brunette, blonde...
→ A naked blonde doing cartwheels!