Blonde Jokes — best jokes

Did you hear about the blonde who put "Sagittarius" at the bottom of application forms where it said "Sign Here".

Did you hear about the blonde who missed the 44 bus? She took the 22 twice instead.

What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
→ Branch Manager.

A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke swimming race across the English Channel. The brunette came in first, the redhead came in second and the blonde never finished.

When the blonde got in the lifeboat she said, "I don't want to be a tattletale or anything, but the other two used their arms."

A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of international capitals.

She proudly said, "Go ahead and quiz me. I know all of them!"

Her friend said, "O.K. then, what's the capital of France?"

The blonde replied, "Oh, that's so easy! F."

A German woman is walking down the street.

Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her.

She screams, "Nein! Nein!" So two guys walk away.

In a fancy Paris restaurant, there is a magical wish-granting mirror. But it only grants wishes if you tell the truth -- if you lie, you disappear. One day, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead enter the restaurant and decide to try out the mirror.

The brunette goes first.

"I think I'm the smartest woman on earth."

"POOF!" She disappears. The redhead goes up to try.

"I think I'm the prettiest woman on earth."

"POOF!" She disappears. The blonde goes up.

"I think--"

"POOF!"

At a pharmacy, a blonde asked to use the infant scale to weigh the baby she held in her arms.

The clerk explained that the device was out for repairs, but said that she would figure the infant's weight by weighing the woman and baby together on the adult scale, then weighing the mother alone and subtracting the second amount from the first.

"That won't work," countered the woman. "I'm not the mother, I'm the aunt."

What is the difference between blondes and traffic signs?
→ Some traffic signs say stop.

What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?
→ She turned it over and used the other side.