Blonde Jokes — best jokes

Three Blondes were driving to Disneyland. After being in the car for four hours they finally saw a sign that said "Disneyland -- "Left", so they turned around and went home.

A drunken blonde goes into a bar. The bartender asks her what she would like, and she replies, "Gimme a beer." The bartender then asks, "Anheuser-Busch?" To which she replies, "Fine thanks, and how's your cock?"

And more on blondes...

But why do brunettes take the pill?
→ Wishful Thinking.

What does a blonde say after sex?
→ Thanks Guys.

What's the difference between a blond and a mosquito?
→ A mosquito stops sucking once you whack it.

(This joke requires the use a small visual. I'll describe the visual first, then as I tell the joke I'll cue you when to use it)

Visual: Stretch your arms straight out sideways with hands also stretched wide open.

Why did the blonde want to date Jesus?
→ She heard he was (use visual) HUNG LIKE THIS!!!!

A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car.

Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting.

The trooper cranked down his window and yelled to the driver--"PULL OVER!"

"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "SCARF!"

Why couldn't the blond pass her drivers test?
→ Every time the car stopped she jumped in the backseat.

How can you tell a blonde has been working on the computer?
→ There is white out on the screen

A blonde came running home to her mother, sobbing and hysterical.

"What's wrong?" her mum, (another blonde) asked.

"My boyfriend's just dropped me!" wailed the blonde.

Her mother nodded wisely and started to tell her all about the birds and the bees.

"No mum," the blonde interrupted. "You don't understand - I can fuck and suck with the best of them, but he says I can't cook!"