Animal Jokes — best jokes

How do you communicate with the Loch Ness Monster at 20,000 fathoms?
→ Drop him a line.

What do you call a mouse that can pick up a monster?
→ Sir.

Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat?
→ To see if there was any more money in the kitty!

What dog has money?
→ A bloodhound, because he is always picking up scents (cents).

Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting?
→ Because he gave out bad scents (cents).

Where do hogs keep their money?
→ In piggy banks.

Why is a cat like a penny?
→ Because it has a head on one side and a tail on the other.

When does a female deer need money?
→ When she doesn't have a buck.

What happened when Dumbo went to a mind reader?
→ They gave him his money back.

Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money.

- I'm not paying - said the duck.

- I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it.

- I've spent my last buck - said the deer.

- Then the duck'll have to pay - said the skunk.

- Getting here cost me my last scent.