Animal Jokes — best jokes

- Doctor - said the patient:

- I need help! I can't stop acting like a cat!

- How long have you had this problem? - the doctor asked.

- Lest's see - said the patient:

- Mom had the litter in '41.

When you call a dog, they usually come to you.
When you call a cat; they take a message.

Why couldn't the cat speak?
→ The dog taped his mouth.

If a cat won an Oscar, what would he get?
→ An a-cat-emy award.

Why was the cat afraid of the tree?
→ Because of the tree bark.

A guy walks into a laundry run by cats. - Excuse me - he said to the cat in charge:

- Can you get milk stains out?

- Sure - replied the cat.

- We'll have that stain licked in a minute!

What is an octopus?
→ An eight-sided cat.

What do cat actors say on stage?
→ Tabby or not tabby!

What is another way to describe a cat?
→ A heat seeking missile!

Why was the cat so small?
→ Because it only ate condensed milk!