Best jokes

- Dad, do you like baked apples?

- Yes son, why?

- The orchard's on fire.

If an apple a day keeps the doctor away, what does an onion do?
→ Keeps everyone away.

How do you make an apple turnover?
→ Push it down hill.

What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do?
→ It can look round.

Once upon a time there were five apples
Which was the cowboy?
→ None - because they were all redskins.

What is red and goes putt, putt, putt?
→ An outboard apple.

How does an apple a day keep the doctor away?
→ When you take careful aim.

How do you make an apple puff?
→ Chase it round the garden

School lunches are not generally popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.

- What kind of pie do you call this? - asked one schoolboy indignantly.

- What's it taste of? - asked the cook.

- Glue!

- Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap.

Fred came rushing in to his Dad.

- Dad! - he puffed:

- is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away?

- That's what they say - said his Dad.

- Well, give me an apple quick? I've just broken the doctor's window!