A guy took his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time.
After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game.
- Oh, I really liked it - she said - but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents.
- What on earth do you mean???
- Well I saw them flip a coin and one team got it and then for the rest of the game all they kept screaming was:
- Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!
A trucker stops at a red light and a blonde catches up to him. She knocks on the window and says:
- Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.
The trucker just ignores her, the light changes, and he proceeds down the street. At the next light, the blonde again catches up and says:
- Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load.
He ignores her again and continues down the street. At the next red light the blonde catches up, all out of breath, knocks on the window and says:
- Hi, my name is Heather and you are losing some of your load.
The trucker looks at her and finally he says:
- Hi, my name is Kevin, it's snowing, and I'm driving a salt truck.
A blonde was filling out an application form for a job. She promptly filled the columns entitled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS, etc. Then she came to the column: SALARY EXPECTED.
- Yes.
Two bowling teams, one of all blondes and one of all brunettes, charter a double-decker bus for a weekend bowling tournament in Atlantic City.
The brunette team rides in the bottom of the bus. The blonde team rides on the top level. The brunette team down below is having a great time, when one of them realizes she doesn't hear anything from the blondes upstairs.
She decides to go up and investigate. When the Brunette reaches the top, she finds all the Blondes frozen in fear, staring straight ahead. She says:
- What the heck's goin' on up here? We're havin' a grand time downstairs!
One of the blondes looks up and says:
- Yeah, but you've got a driver!
A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!". She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says:
- I'd like the $99 cruise special, please.
The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating.
A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river.
Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks:
- Do they serve refreshments on this cruise?
The second blonde replies:
- They didn't last year.
One day a blonde woman was down on her luck and she needed a quick way to get money.
She saw some kids playing and thought:
- Hey! Maybe I can kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom!
So she creeps up and snatches one.
So she began to write a note:
- I have kidnaped your son and I will give him back if you put 10,000$ on the north side of the tree in the park.
Signed
Blonde.
She sticks the note on the kid and sends him home. The next day she goes to the north side of the tree and in a paper bag was 10,000$.
But there was a note inside saying:
- How could you do this to a fellow blonde!?!
There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game.
At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000. The first question was what is 10 plus 11?
She hesitates and says, hm.. 5! The host says no im sorry thats incorrect.
All of the blondes in the stadium chanted:
- Give her another chance, give her another chance!
So the host agrees and said:
- ok how about 5 plus 5.
She answers and says 20. Again all the blondes chanted give her another chance, give her another chance. So the host agrees again and says, ok last chance, what is 2 plus 2. The blonde says 4! and the audience says Give her another chance give her another chance!
A blonde and her husband were driving home, when they hit a rabit.
They both got out of the car and stood over the poor creature.
The blonde and her husband just stood their, when she said:
- Oh i know.
So she when in the car and rumaged through her purse and came out with what looked a bottle. She poured it on the rabit and they both got in the car. Suddenly the rabit got up hopped a little bit and waved, hopped a little and waved, hopped to the top of the hill and waved.
Then dissapered over it.
The husband just stared at his wife and said:
- Honey, what did you pour on that rabit?
His wife just said:
- Hair Restorer with a permanent wave.
Three blondes are stranded on an island.
A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish.
So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army.
The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off.
The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says:
- Let's go over the bridge.
Once there was the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, Easter bunny, a smart blonde and a dumb blonde they were walking down the road when they saw a $100 dollars bill who gets it??
→ No one the first four dont exsist and the other blonde thought it was a gumwraper!
