Two blondes are walking down the street.
One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up.
She opens it, looks in the mirror and says:
- Hmmm, this person looks familiar.
The second blonde says:
- Here, let me see!
So the first Blonde hands her the compact. She looks in the mirror and says:
- You dummy, it's me!
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was:
- If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?
She thought for a time and then asked:
- Is it on or off?
A blonde was taking the tour of a national park not long ago. The ranger mentioned to the tour group that dinosaur fossils had been found in the area.
The blonde exclaimed:
- Wow! I can't believe the dinosaurs would come this close to the highway!
While shopping at the grocery store, I noticed that the tuna packed in spring water was labeled dolphin safe, but the tuna packed in oil was not.
I mentioned this fact to the blonde cashier and mused out loud:
- I wonder why?
The blonde replied:
- Must be because the oil would suffocate them.
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it.
- Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago! - the former blonde asked.
A blonde bought a brand new car and decided to drive down from some place far off, to meet this friend. She reached there in a few hours. After spending a few days there, she decided to return, and called up her mother to expect her in the evening.
But she didn't reach home in the evening and not the next day either. When she finally reached home on the third day, her distraught mother ran and asked her what happened?
She got out, obviously very tired from a long journey, and said:
- These car designers are crazy! They have four gears for going forward, but only one for going back!
A friend meets up with her friend as she is picking her car up from the mechanic.
Her friend asks:
- Everything ok with your car now?
The blonde replies:
- Yes, thank goodness. I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off, so I was relieved when he told me all I needed was blinker fluid.
How do you plant dope?
→ Bury a blonde.
Why don't blondes like to make Kool-Aid?
→ They can't get eight cups of water into that little packet.
Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
→ It took her a month to realize she could play it at night...
