Best jokes

What goes: Clip Clop Clip Clop BANG Clipidy Clop Clipidy Clop?
→ An Amish drive-by shooting.

Why wasn't Jesus born in West Virginia?
→ Well God found plenty of guys who liked to deal with sheep, but he could'nt find three wise men or a virgin.

A man walks into a Chinese restaurant but is told by the Maitre'd that there will be at least a twenty minute wait.

- Would you like to wait in the bar, Sir? - he says.

The man goes into the bar and the bartender says:

- What'll it be?

The man replies:

- Give me a Stoli with a twist.

The bartender pauses for a few seconds, then smiles and says:

- Once upon time, there were FOUR little peegs . . .

Two zebras are talking and one asks the other, "Am I black with white stripes or white with black stripes?" The other replies, "Well I don't know. You should pray to God about that and ask him." So that night he did and God replied, "You are what you are." The next day he said to the other zebra, "I still don't understand what I am because God just said, You are what you are." The second zebra responds, "You must be white with black stripes or else God would have said, Yo is what yo is."

What do you get when you cross an Iraqi and a dog?
→ An Iraqi.

The Arkansas lad was obviously deeply troubled.

- Why so glum, Chum? - asked the kindly stranger.

- If my parents get divorced...will they still be brother and sister?

Why does the new Polish Navy have glass bottomed boats?
→ So they can see the old Polish Navy!

What do Arabs do on saturday night?
→ They sit under palm trees and eat their dates.

It's Christmas time and Paddy and Shaun decided to go look for a Christmas Tree. They gathered their axe, a sled, and a broom to brush the trees off so they can get a good look at them. When they finally reach a fine stand of trees, Shaun brushes off the first tree, and stands back with Paddy to look at it:

- Well, Paddy, What do you think?

- Sorry, Shaun, this tree won't do. Let's try another one.

They come upon another nice tree, Shaun brushes it off, and they both look at it:

- How about this one, Paddy?

- Not quite, Shaun. Let's keep looking.

This goes on until nightfall. Both Paddy and Shaun are cold, tired, and hungry:

- Well, Paddy, what do we do now?

- Shaun, I think we should take home the next tree we find, whether it has lights on it or not...

Why do Jewish Women go for circumcised men?
→ Because they can't refuse anything with 10% off.