Guest
The Lost Boomerang
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
→ A stick.
Best jokes
- All
- Animal Jokes 3869
- April Fools Jokes 10
- At Work 856
- Aviation Jokes 339
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- Business Jokes 842
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- Celebrities 657
- Christmas Jokes 343
- Clean Jokes 1299
- Comedian Jokes 85
- Computer Jokes 800
- Dirty Jokes 3278
- Doctor Jokes 989
- Drunks 538
- Dumb Jokes 1114
- Elderly Jokes 636
- Ethnic 982
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- Festival Jokes 300
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- Golf Jokes 164
- Instrument Jokes 274
- Irish Jokes 242
- Kids Jokes 2024
- Language Jokes 1361
- Lawyer Jokes 565
- Marriage Jokes 1855
- Medicine 1113
- Men Jokes 959
- Military Jokes 384
- Mom/Dad Jokes 674
- Ouch 850
- Police Jokes 668
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- Practical Jokes 33
- Red Indian Jokes 66
- Redneck Jokes 248
- Relationships 775
- Religion 1283
- School 906
- Science 461
- Sex Jokes 935
- Situations 1812
- Sport Jokes 602
- Stats/Math Jokes 214
- Travel Jokes 715
- War 134
- Women Jokes 1241
- Yo Mama Jokes 333
Guest
Fly In My Soup
A man eating at restaurant says to his waiter, 'waiter, there's a fly in my soup!' The waiter replies, 'That, sir, is entirely possible, you see our cook used to be a tailor.'
Guest
The Woman With Five Legs
Did you hear about the woman who has five legs?
→ Her knickers fit her like a glove!
Guest
Spelling Caseway
- Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company.
- Would you spell that, please?
- Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you.
The operator pauses. "Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor . . ."
Guest
The Theater Guild
- Information. Can I help you?
- I'd like the number of the Theater Guild, please.
- One moment, please. Pause. I'm sorry sir, I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.
- No, no. It isn't a person. It's an organization. It's Theater Guild.
- I told you, sir. I have no listing for a Theodore Guild.
- Not Theodore! Theater! The word is theater. T-H-E-A-T-E-R!
- That, sir, is NOT the way you spell Theodore.
Guest
Blue And Singing Alone
What's blue and sings alone?
→ Dan Ackroyd.
Guest
The Deaf Mute
Did you hear about the queer deaf mute?
→ Neither did he.
Guest
The Chicken Crosses Twice
what do you get when a chicken cross the road falls in the dirt and then recrosses
→ a dirty crosser
Guest
La Machine
La Machine....vegetables...vvrrrrr...
La Machine....fruits...vvrrrrr...
La Machine....little children...
No mommy, No!...vvrrrrr...
La Machine.
Halloween Costume Party
One year at halloween the governor was giving a costume party. All the gentry were there and as they arrived the doorman would announce what there characters were.
When one couple arrived he announced:
- Mickey and Minnie Mouse.
As the next couple arrived he announced:
- Tarzan and Jane
and so on as each guest arrived.
Later in the evening a man arrived dressed only in a pair of underpants but apart from that totally naked from head to toe.
- Who do you think you are? - demanded the doorman. Having ascertained that the man was indeed an invited guest from the local university CS department The doorman asked:
- How shall I announce you?
The man said:
- I'm premature ejaculation
- I'm very sorry sir - said the doorman in obvious shock.
- I cannot announce anything like that to such a gathering.
- O.K. - said the professor.
- Just say I came in my pants