- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Abbott!
- Abbott who?
- Abbott time you answered the door!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Ahmed!
- Ahmed who?
- Ahmedeus Motzart!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Alaska!
- Alaska who?
- Alaska my friend the question then!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Alfred!
- Alfred who!
- Alfred of the dark!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Alma!
- Alma who?
- Alma not going to tell you!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Alda!
- Alda who?
- Alda time you knew who it was!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Aldo!
- Aldo who?
- Aldo anywhere with you!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Aida!
- Aida who?
- Aida lot of sweets and now I've got tummy ache!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Al!
- Al who?
- Al give you a kiss if you open this door!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Adelia!
- Adelia who?
- Adelia the cards and we'll play snap!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Anna!
- Anna who?
- Anna one, anna two...!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Anna!
- Anna who?
- Anna going to tell you!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Anne Boleyn!
- Anne Boleyn who?
- Anne Boleyn alley!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Amin!
- Amin who?
- Amin thing to do!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Ammonia!
- Ammonia who?
- Ammonia little kid!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Almond!
- Almond who?
- Almond the side of the law!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Andrew!
- Andrew who?
- Andrew a picture!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Andy!
- Andy who?
- Andy mosquito bit me again!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Astor!
- Astor who?
- Astor the ball is over!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Avocado!
- Avocado who?
- Avocado a cold!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Axel!
- Axel who?
- Axeldental Tourist!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Atch!
- Atch who?
- I'm sorry I didn't know you had a cold!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Athena!
- Athena who?
- Athena flying saucer!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Argo!
- Argo who?
- Argo down the shops!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Ankara!
- Ankara who?
- Ankara went off the cliff!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Ann!
- Ann who?
- Anndromeda Strain!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Armageddon!
- Armageddon who?
- Armageddon getting out of here!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Armenia!
- Armenia who?
- Armenia every word I say!
- Knock Knock
- Who's there?
- Asa!
- Asa who!
- Asa-int amongst men!
- If you were orphaned when you were a child, I feel sorry for you, but not for your parents.
- If you don't want to give people a bad name, you will have your children illegitimately.
- Is your name Laryngitis? You're a pain in the neck.
- Is your name Dan Druff? You get into people's hair.
- I hear you pick your friends -- to pieces!!
- I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.
- They say that two heads are better than one. In your case, one would have been better than none.
- You should toss out more of your funny remarks that's all they're good for.
- People can't say that you have absolutely nothing! After all, you have inferiority!
- You must have a low opinion of people if you think they're your equals.
- I wish you were all here. I don't like to think there is more!
- If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder it would be genocide!
- Even your best friend cheats on you and lies to you, and that's the best friend you can get.
- I don't think you are a fool. But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others?
- Nobody says that you are dumb. They just say you were sixteen years old before you learned how to wave goodbye.
- People say that you are the perfect idiot. I say that you are not perfect, but you are doing alright.
- Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
- The mind reader had a very busy day today reading minds. You were a vacation for him.
- I thought of you all day today when I was at the zoo.
- When you talk, other people get hoarse just listening.
- I would say that you are barking up the wrong tree, but that is your natural voice.
- I reprimanded my brother for mimicking you. I told him not to act like a fool.
- I'm very careful of how I express my opinions of you because I want to put as much vituperation in them as possible.
- I don't hold your behavior against you because I realize it was caused by childhood trauma your parents spanked you when you fell on your head and broke the cement.
- Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I'll arrange it with the undertaker.
- People say that you are outspoken, but not by anyone that I know of.
- Your conversation is like the waves of the sea. It makes me sick!
- We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
- When you get to the men's room, you will see a sign that says, "Gentlemen." Pay no heed to it. Go right on in.
- The only things you ever make are mistakes and cigarette ashes.
- You always manage to keep your neck above water. We can tell by the color of it.
- All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?
- I heard you have hair on your chest, and that's not your only resemblance to Rin Tin Tin.
- No one should be punished for accident of birth, but you look too much like a wreck not to be.
- There was something about you that I liked, but you spent it.
- Sit down and give your mind a rest.
- I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!
- I think you should live for the moment. But after that, I doubt I'll think so.
- Man alive! But I wish you weren't.
- I believe in respect for the dead in fact, I could only respect you if you WERE dead.
- Is your name Maple Syrup? It should be, you sap.
- You spent so much time trying to get rid of that halitosis that you had only to find out that you are not popular anyway.
- You are the kind of person who, when one first meets you, one doesn't like you. But when one gets to know you better, one hates you.
- We know that romance brings out the beast in you -- the jackass.
- I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it yet.
- There are several people in this world that I find obnoxious and you are all of them.
- All of your girlfriends kiss you with their eyes closed. Considering your face, that's the only way they could.
- I hear that when your mother first saw you, she decided to leave you on the front steps of a police station while she turned herself in.
