Best jokes

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
→ Because their horns don't work.

- Camper: Look at that bunch of cows.

- Farmer: Not bunch, herd.

- Camper: Heard what?

- Farmer: Of cows.

- Camper: Sure I've heard of cows.

- Farmer: No, I mean a cowherd.

- Camper: So what? I have no secrets from cows!

What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?
→ An udder failure!

What do you call cattle with a sense of humor?
→ Laughing stock.

What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for?
→ "Nowledge."

How do you know a Brigham Young student's been mowing the lawn?
→ The welcome mat is destroyed.

Why do University of Arkansas graduates tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars?
→ So they can park in handicapped spaces.

- Teenage Driver: But, officer, I'm a college man.

- Policeman: Sorry, but ignorance is no excuse.

An applicant was being interviewed for admission to a prominent medical school.

- Tell me, - inquired the interviewer, - where do you expect to be ten years from now?

- Well, let's see, - replied the student.

- It's Wednesday afternoon. I guess I'll be on the golf course by now.

How can you tell Bill Clinton apart from a cow?
→ By the wise look in the eyes.