Travel Jokes — most viewed jokes

Where do cars get the most flat tires?
→ Where there is a fork in the road.

- Policeman: Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

- Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

- Wife: There's trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor.

- Husband: Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous.

- Wife: I tell you the car has water in the carburettor.

- Husband: You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?

- Wife: In the pool.

Sign seen on the back of a truck:

Driver carries no money, his wife has it!

How to Get There by Ridya Bike

Blake and his parents were drinking at the bar in a train station when they heard a whistle. The three of them rushed out of the bar onto the platform only to discover that they had missed the train.

"The next train is in one hour," said the stationmaster.

The three went back into the bar. The parents had another drink; Blake had a Pepsi.

Again they heard a whistle, rushed out and discovered the train pulling away.

"Next one is sixty minutes from now!" said the stationmaster.

An hour later, Blake, with his mom and dad, raced out onto the platform, and his parents leaped onto the train as it pulled away. The boy was left standing on the platform and began to laugh uproariously.

"Your parents just left you," said the stationmaster. "Why are you laughing?"

"They came to see me off!"

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls Royce to a downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000. The loan officer was quite taken aback, and requested collateral. "Well, then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce", the man said. The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safekeeping, and gave him $5,000.

Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. The loan officer checked the records and told him, "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest." The man wrote out a check, thanked the loan officer, and started to walk away.

"Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow?"

The man smiled. "Where else could I securely park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

Hear about the blonde explorer?
→ She bought a piece of sandpaper thinking it was a map of the Sahara Desert.

Why is it not safe to doze on trains?
→ Because they run over sleepers.

One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home.