Sport Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
→ Because he liked sole music!

Why was the racehorse names Strawberry Ice?
→ He was a sherbet!

Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette?
→ He didn't have enough money tabaccer!

What do you get if you cross a frog with a decathlete?
→ Someone who pole-vaults without a pole.

Why are football players never asked for dinner?
→ Because they're always dribbling!

What lights up a football stadium?
→ A football match!

Why are football grounds odd?
→ Because you can sit in the stands but can't stand in the sits!

How do athletes send e-mails?
→ On the Inter-sweat.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 now & we don't know where the hell she is!

The only reason I would take up jogging is so I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up?

I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would have put them further up our body.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

I don't jog...it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.

Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?
→ So that they can pack the defence!