Science — most viewed jokes

What did the metric alien say?
→ Take me to your litre!

What happened when Dr Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
→ He got atomic ache.

How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a cosmos of nothingness.

Where do Martians drink beer?
→ At a mars bar!

- Mommy monster: Don't eat that uranium.

- Little monster: Why not?

- Mommy monster: You'll get atomic-ache.

Where do space monsters live?
→ In far distant terror-tory.

When a 16-inch viola and a 17-inch viola are dropped simultaneously from a 30-story building, which one hits the pavement first?
→ Who cares!

If athletes get athlete's foot, then what do astronauts get?
→ Missile toe.

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said: "Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face."

"Yes, sir," the boys said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "It's because yer feet ain't empty."

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn, she rolled the dice and she landed on "Science & Nature." Her question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"

She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"