Science — most viewed jokes

What do astronauts put on their toast?
→ Space Jam.

- Policeman: Didn't you see my lights flashing?

- Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed of light.

Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.

When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver: "Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?"

The bus driver shakes his head and says, "No, I'm sorry."

Hearing this, the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: "Will it take ME?"

10 Blonde Science Fair Projects:

10. Are poisonous snakes really venomous?
11. Is lighter fluid flammable?
12. What hurts more: falling off a building, or a cliff?
13. Are knives sharp?
14. Can sharks hurt a human?
15. What happens if I stick my hand in a piranha aquarium?
16. Can I break my arm hitting it against a wall?
17. Can I go through a brick wall?
18. Can dogs talk?
19. Are blondes really dumb?

Why didn't the astronauts stay on the moon?
→ Because it was a full moon and there was no room.

A soldier at the Pentagon got out of the shower, and realized that his clothes were missing. And then he accidentally locked himself out of the locker room. So now he was completely naked in the halls of the headquarters of the most powerful military organization on the planet. And he felt pretty ridiculous.

Getting an idea, he walked naked and purposefully through the corridors until he reached the Research & Development laboratory. He walked in and saluted the Head Scientist.

"I am here to report the partial success of the personal invisibility device!"

The snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called "The Fission Chips."

Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?

A prominent Polish scientist conducted very important experiment. He trained a flea to jump upon giving her a verbal command ("Jump!").

In a first stage of experiment he removed flea's leg, told her to jump, and the flea jumped. So he wrote in his scientific notebook: "Upon removing one leg all flea organs function properly."

So, he removed the second leg, asked the flea to jump, she obeyed, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the second leg all flea organs function properly."

Thereafter he removed all the legs but one, the flea jumped when ordered, so he wrote again: "Upon removing the next leg all flea organs function properly."

Then he removed the last leg. Told flea to jump, and nothing happened.
He did not want to take a chance, so he repeated the experiment several times, and the leg less flea never jumped. So he wrote the conclusion:
"Upon removing the last leg the flea loses sense of hearing."

- Igor: Only this morning Dr Frankenstein completed another amazing operation. He crossed an ostrich with a centipede.

- Dracula: And what did he get?

- Igor: We don't know - we haven't managed to catch it yet.

At a convention of biological scientists one researcher remarks to another:
"Did you know that in our lab we have switched from mice to lawyers for our experiments?"

"Really?" the other replied, "Why did you switch?"
"Well, for four very good reasons. First we found that lawyers are far more plentiful, second, the lab assistants don't get so attached to them, third there are some things even a rat won't do, and fourth sometimes it very hard to extrapolate our test results to human beings."