Science — most viewed jokes

What type of music do lightning bolts listen to?
→ Rock and Roll

What happens when a paranoid has low self-esteem?
→ He thinks that nobody important is out to get him.

What's the difference between a horse and the weather?
→ One is reined up and the other rains down.

Questions that have Confused humankind!!

• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
• Who was the first person to say "See that chicken there.... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
• Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
• Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
• Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
• If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
• Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
• Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
• Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
• What do you call male ballerinas?
• Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??
• If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?
• If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
• If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
• If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
• Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse?
• Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
• Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
• Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
• Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he can't wait to stick his head out the window into the wind?
• Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

What did the hurricane say to the other hurricane?
→ I have my eye on you.

Two weathermen each broke an arm and a leg in an accident, and called from the hospital about the four casts.

What did the tornado say to the car?
→ 'You wanna go for a spin?'

What's the difference between 'weather' and 'climate'?
→ You can't 'weather' a tree, but you can 'climate'!

Don't try to understand the theory of relativity.

Relativity is like an erection - the more you think about it, the harder it gets.

What doesn't get any wetter no matter how much it rains?
→ The ocean