Random joke from this category
School lunches are not generally popular with those that have to eat them, and sometimes with good reason.
"What kind of pie do you call this?" asked one schoolboy indignantly.
"What's it taste of?" asked the cook.
"Glue!"
"Then it's apple pie, the plum pie tastes of soap."
- Who was the first woman on earth?
- I don't know, Sir.
- Come on, Fred, it has something to do with an apple.
- Granny Smith?
What happened to the naughty little witch at school?
→ She was ex-spelled.
Proverbs as finished by a fourth grade class:
It is always darkest...
→ Just before you flunk a test.
There is nothing new...under a rock.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with...a private jet.
A committee of three...gets things done when they are not fighting.
If you can't stand the heat...try Antarctica.
Better late than...absent.
A rolling stone...may dent the floor.
If at first you don't succeed...live with it.
Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Cry...and then blow your nose.
A bird in the hand is....better than a woodpecker on your head.
Early to bed, early to rise...and you will get the best cereal.
Two heads...are pretty scary.
It is better to light a candle than...to light a bomb.
A miss is as good as...a mister.
A penny saved...is not a lot.
Don't burn your bridges...or you'll fall in the lake.
Haste makes...sweat
- Pupil: In other schools, pupils get a choice of computers to use.
- Teacher: You get a choice her, too. Use the one we've got or don't use any at all.
- Teacher: Who built the first American car?
- Student: Me Pilgrims.
- Teacher: The Pilgrims?
- Student: Yeah, they made the Mayflower Compact.
- School Doctor: Have you ever had trouble with appendicitis?
- Fred: Only when I tried to spell it.
A 9-year-old boy in Manassas, Virginia received a one-day suspension under his elementary school's drug policy last week - for Certs! Joey Hoeffer allegedly told a classmate that the mints would make him "jump higher."
'You never get anything right,' complained the teacher. 'What kind of job do you think you'll get when you leave school?'
'Well, I want to be the weather girl on TV.'
- Teacher: What's 2 and 2?
- Pupil: 4
- Teacher: That's good.
- Pupil: Good?, that's perfect!
