Random joke from this category
A man goes to the doctor for a checkup. After the checkup, the doctor tells the man he has bad news. "You only have six months to live."
The man sits for a while thinking, and then says, "There's only one thing I can do, I'm going to become a Communist."
The doctor asks, "You've been a patriotic American all your life, why are you going to become a Communist now?"
The man says, "Better one of them should die than one of us!"
What can you say about Ham Burger and Chief Justice Warren Burger?
→ Ham Burger is 'well done' and Chief Justice Warren Burger has 'done well'!
How many Poles does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Just one, but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!
Democrat men like to watch football while the women fix holiday meals.
On this, Republicans are in full agreement.
Can you imagine working for a company that has a little more than 500 employees and has the following statistics:
Can you guess which organization this is?
It's the 535 members of the United States Congress.
The same group that cranks out hundreds of new laws each year designed to keep the rest of us in line.
A son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow."
The father thought some and said, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy.
Let's say that I'm a capitalist because I'm the breadwinner.
Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?"
The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."
Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. The son then turned and went back to bed.
The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now."
"Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?"
The little boy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of crap."
With all due respect, President Clinton was telling the truth when he said he was not having sex with that woman... Of course he was referring to Hillary!
One day, Clinton called the White House interior decorator into the Oval Office.
He was very furious and said, "Chelsea is very upset because she thinks she has the ugliest room in the entire White House; I want something done about it immediately!"
"Yes Sir, Mr. President," the interior decorator replies. "I'll take those mirrors out right away!"
A visitor from Holland was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
A minister was asked by a politician, "Name something the government can do to help the church."
The minister replied, "Quit making one dollar bills."
