Political Jokes — most viewed jokes

How long does a United States Congressman serve?
→ Until he gets caught.

If a lawyer and an IRS agent were both drowning, and you could only save one of them, would you go to lunch or read the paper?

The U.S. Treasury has just announced that it will sell three new types of bonds:

1. The Al Gore bond, which has no interest.
2. The Monica Lewinsky bond, which has no maturity. And...
3. The Bill Clinton Bond, which has no principal.

One night Bill Clinton was awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. "George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked.
"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," advised George.
The next night the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moved through the dark bedroom. "Tom, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked.
"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government," advised Tom.
Clinton didn't sleep well the next night, and saw yet another figure moving in the shadows. It was Abraham Lincoln's ghost.
"Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Clinton asked.
Abe replied, "Go to the theater."

When the AirForce 1 prepares to land, the Captain speaks over the intercom: "The seatbelt sign is on Mr. President, would you please put the stewardess in the upright position."

The politician was sitting at his campaign headquarters when the phone rang. He listened intently, and after a moment his face brightened. When he hung up, he immediately phoned his mother to tell her the good news. "Ma," he shouted, "the results are in. I won the election!"

"Honestly?"

The politician's smiled faded. "Aw hell, ma, why bring that up at a time like this?"

I want to become a politician when I grow up so I've made a list of skills I want to aquire, but I've only come up with one: Lying.

It has been said that the United States has the best congressmen money can buy.

There are a lot of folks that can't understand how we ran out of oil here in the USA.
Well, here's the answer: It's simple.........nobody bothered to check the oil. Didn't know we were getting low. And of course the reason for that is geographical. Most of the oil is in Texas and Oklahoma, and all the dipsticks are in Washington, D.C.

The following phrase:

PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA

can be rearranged (with no letters left over, and using each letter only once) into:

TO COPULATE HE FINDS INTERNS

Coincidence? I think not!