Political Jokes — most viewed jokes

What's Osama Bin Laden going to be for Halloween?
→ Dead.

What do you call a ghost who only haunts the Town Hall?
→ The nightmayor.

Clinton and Gore went to a diner to get a bite to eat.

A good looking waitress comes up and asks, "Can I take your order?"

Clinton says, "Yes, I like a quickie!"

She turns a little red and say, "Sir, in your present state of affairs I don't think you should even be suggesting something like that. I will come back when you are ready to order from the MENU!"

As she walks away Gore leans over and says, "Bill, its pronounced quiche".

• Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.
• It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.
• No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. (Repealed)
• It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.
• Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.
• It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.
• It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.
• You may not drive a black car on Sundays.
• It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.
• It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado.
• The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.
• It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.
• It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.
• It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.
• Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight.

How many Republicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two-one to do it and one to steady the chandelier.
→ None, they only screw the poor

How many helicopters does it take for White House aides to go play a round of golf?
→ Depends on how many were photographed.

What were the three toughest years in Al Gore's life?
→ Grade six.

Who succeeded the first President of the USA?
→ The second one!

Canada, in view of recent events, will be changing the maple leaf on the flag to a marijuana plant.

That way, the people of Quebec will have good reason to burn the flag.

Why are Vampires Democrats?
→ They want Gore in 2000.