Political Jokes — most viewed jokes

If an elephant is the symbol of the Republican Party and a donkey is the symbol of the Democratic Party, what is a pig the symbol of?
→ Any party where there's lots of food.

The following conversation took place one morning between a wife and her husband. They were discussing government cost cuts that they recently heard about in the paper.

"Steve," his wife said, while reading the newspaper, "it looks like our government is going to cut overhead and trim down the military forces. They are going to eliminate six overaged destroyers."

To which the husband replies, "Sorry to hear that, dear. I'm sure you'll miss your mother being gone."

How many Iranians does it take to change a light bulb?
→ One hundred - One to screw it in and 99 to hold the house hostage.

What did Bill Clinton say to Monica?
→ I told you to lick my erection, not wreck my election.

What is the difference between the Titantic and Bill Clinton?
→ They know how many people went down on the Titantic!!

• It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.
• A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
• Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.
• One-armed piano players must perform for free.
• Any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building.
• The "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned.
• The fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.
• Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.
• Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.

How many senators does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Two to sponsor the bill and thirty-three to constitute a quorum.

George W. Bush is seen crossing the Potomac river on foot.

The Washington Post: "President Bush crosses the Potomac River".
The Washington Time: "Bush's conservative approach saves taxpayers a boat".
Mother Jones: "Bush can't swim".

What do a Wendy's Hamburger and the Waco compound have in common?
→ They were both cooked by a guy named "Dave".

What's the difference between Anarchists and Libertarians??

Libertarians are anarchists with money.

Anarchists believe property is theft. Libertarians believe everything is property.

Libertarians are bosses; anarchists work for them when they run out of other options.

Libertarians buy more guns, but anarchists use more ammo.

Libertarians ride in stretch limos; anarchists throw bricks through their windshields.

Libertarians go shopping; anarchists go shoplifting.

Libertarians go to the police after they've been mugged; anarchists get mugged by the police.

A libertarian wants to marry another libertarian, but only after sleeping with enough anarchists.

Anarchists ignore the IRS; Libertarians hire accountants and attorneys to fight them.

Libertarians think the government is trying steal the property they rightfully own; anarchists think the government is trying to defend property that nobody rightfully owns.

Libertarians are organized in a political party; anarchists aren't organized in anything.

Anarchists ignore elections; Libertarians run for office, vote and lose.

Libertarians think anarchists are naive and unrealistic; anarchists don't care what libertarians think.