Police Jokes — most viewed jokes

Did you hear about the man in the electric chair who asked the executioner to reverse the charges?

My horoscope read, "You're going places and you can't be stopped."

Apparently the cop who gave me a ticket hadn't read it.

A priest walked into a barber shop in Washington, D.C. After he got his haircut, he asked how much it would be. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the Lord."

The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 prayerbooks and a thank you note from the priest in front of the door.

Later that day, a police officer came in and got his hair cut. He then asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the community."

The next morning, he came to work and there were a dozen donuts and a thank you note from the police officer.

Then, a Senator came in and got a haircut. When he was done he asked how much it was. The barber said, "No charge. I consider it a service to the country."

The next morning, the barber came to work and there were 12 Senators in front of the door.

- Police Chief: Why do you spend all your time trying to hit flies?

- Officer: You assigned me to the swat team, didn't you?

A man was caught for speeding and went before the judge.

The judge said, "What will you take....30 days or $30."

The man replied, "I think I'll take the money."

Did you hear?

The Energizer bunny has been arrested for Battery.

Did you hear the Energizer Bunny was arrested?
→ Charged with battery!

"I'll have to report you, sir," said the traffic cop to the speeding driver. "You were doing 85 miles an hour."

"Nonsense, officer," declared the driver. "I've only been in the car for ten minutes."

A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, "Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."

A policeman came upon a super-salesman about to jump from a bridge and yelled, "Wait, Fellow! Please don't do that!!!"

The salesman said, "Why not?" and proceeded to expound on his views on the shaky economy, declining family life and Clinton politics.

Shortly thereafter, they both jumped.