Mom/Dad Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Daughter: I will never learn to spell.

- Mother: Why?

- Daughter: The teacher keeps changing the words.

- Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?

- Johnny: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.

Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions.

- Son: Father, Can I ask you a question?

- Father: Ok ask.

- Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor.

- Father: !!!??????!!!

"Son, you sure do ask a lot of questions," said the father. "I'd like to know what would have happened if I'd asked as many questions when I was a boy."

"Perhaps," said the boy, "you'd've been able to answer some of mine."

An irate father stormed into the principal's office. "I demand to know," he screamed, "why my son Winslow was given a zero on his English examination."

"Now, don't get excited," said the principal. "We'll get your Winslow's English teacher in here. I'm sure she has some explanation."

A few minutes later, the English teacher arrived.

"Why did you give Winslow a zero on his English final?" demanded the father.

"I had no choice," said the schoolmarm. "He handed in a blank paper with absolutely nothing on it."

"That's no excuse," shouted the father. "You could have at least given him an 'A' for neatness!"

A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations."

The son-in-law interrupted, "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise."

"I see," replied the father-in-law. "Well, then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations."

"I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being stuck behind a desk all day."

"Wait a minute," said the father-in-law. "I just make you half-owner of a moneymaking organization, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?"

"Easy," said the young man. "Buy me out."

Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip and asked her husband, "How did Greg do on his history exam?"

"Oh, not so good," he replied. "But it wasn't his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was born!"

"What are you reading?" demanded the father of his seven-year-old.

"A story about a cow jumping over the moon," was the reply.

"Throw that book away at once," he commanded.

"How many times have I told you you're too young to read science fiction?"

Did you hear about the Omaha mother who got tired of putting name tags on her son's shirts, so she had his name legally changed to "Machine Washable"?

- Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John, swallowed the can opener!

- Doctor: Don't panic. He'll be alright.

- Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?! The toast is getting cold!