Men Jokes — most viewed jokes

- First boy: My dad saw a horrible witch and didn't turn a hair!

- Second boy: I'm not surprised - your dad's bald!

On a Trans-Atlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and things go from bad to worse when one wing is struck by lightning. One woman in particular loses it.

Screaming, she stands up in the front of the plane. "I'm too young to die!" she wails. Then she yells, "well, if I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on Earth to be memorable!

I've had plenty of sex in my life, but no one has ever made me really feel like a woman! Well I've had it! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN??"

For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril, and they all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then, a man stands up in the rear of the plane.

"I can make you feel like a woman," he says. He's gorgeous. Tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes, he starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt one button at a time. No one moves.

The woman is breathing heavily in anticipation as the strange man approaches.

He removes his shirt. Muscles ripple across his chest as he reaches her, and extends the arm holding his shirt to the trembling woman, and whispers: "WOMAN - Iron this shirt!"

Why are men like paper cups?
→ They're dispensable.

What does a man consider to be a seven course meal?
→ A hot dog and a six pack.

What does it mean to come home to a man who'll give you some love and tenderness?
→ You're in the wrong house.

Why men like to fishing so much?
→ They finally found something as smart as them to talk to.

- Last night I dreamt I was dancing with the most beautiful girl in the world

- What was I wearing?

What should you give a man who has everything?
→ A woman to show him how to work it.

Men are like copiers.

You need them for reproduction, but that's about it.

WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.