Random joke from this category
What is the difference between girls aged: 8, 18, 28, 38, 48, 58 and 68?
At 8 - You take her to bed and tell her a story.
At 18 - You tell her a story and take her to bed.
At 28 - You don't need to tell her a story to take her to bed.
At 38 - She tells you a story and takes you to bed.
At 48 - You tell her a story to avoid going to bed.
At 58 - You stay in bed to avoid her story.
At 68 - If you take her to bed, that'll be a story!!
What kind of clothes are there?
→ women: clean & dirty
Men: Clean, almost clean, sorta clean, not bad, dirty, really dirty, nasty, biohazzard. (Men will voluntarily wear all but the last classification of these clothes).
Man says to God: "Why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
Man says to God: "But God, why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
Department of the Treasury
Internal Revenue Service
Washington, D.C.
To: All Male Taxpayers
RE: Notice of increase of tax payment
Form 1040 - P
The only thing that the IRS has not taxed yet is your penis. This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it is hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it is pissed off, 20% of the time it is hard up, and 10% of the time it is in the hole. On top of this, it has two dependents and both are nuts.
Accordingly, as of April 1, 1998, your penis will be taxed according to size. To determine your category, please consult the chart below and confirm this informatin on page 2, section 7, line 3, on the Standard Form 1040.
Please note: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund. Please do not ask for an extension!!!!!!
Additionally, males exceeding 12 inches must file under Capital Gains.
Sincerely,
Peter Checker
Internal Revenue Service
What makes a man think he's so great?
Why did God give men larger brains than dogs?
→ So they won't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
Why do men like blonde jokes??
→ Because they can understand them.
How do men sort their laundry?
→ "Filthy" and "Filthy but Wearable".
"Three Men And A Baby"........
What you get when four men go fishing and one comes back after having caught nothing.
A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center.
- Man: What are you doing here today?
- Woman: Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it.
- Man: Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25.
The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways.
Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.
- Man: Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?
- Woman: [shaking her head with mouth closed] Unh unh.
