Festival Jokes — most viewed jokes

Have you heard about the goodweather witch?
→ She's forecasting sunny spells.

How does a witch make scrambled eggs?
→ She holds the pan and gets two friends to make the stove shake with fright!

'Owl be seeing you later.'

Who went into a witche's den and came out alive?
→ The witch!

I saw you across a crowded room. Among all the others that were there, The lights seemed to shine down on you alone. I knew then I had to have you for my own.

Willingly, you came with me to my home. From the car, I carried you & threw open the door. Looking at you, I admire your body, your well shaped legs, and breasts.

Slowly I remove what wraps, around your body so tightly, fitting you like a glove. Exposing your tender pale skin. From your neck I remove your charms, and carry you off in my arms, to the warm water that awaits.

The water cascades down your neck, flowing over your soft breasts then, making your legs glisten with wetness. Droplets of water cover your taut skin. My hands rub your body, ummmm running them threw the beads of water. Making them trickle down off your body.

I place my fingers inside you. You are warm and moist, so ready. I carry your still dripping body, to a laying place, so that I can put inside you what was well prepared to enter you before we even came through the door.

As soon as I lay you down your legs spread open wide. You are ready now and so am I. I put a little in slowly at first, getting a feel for how much you can take in. I put in more, you take it willingly.

In anticipation, faster and faster I put it in, pushing it in deeply as far as I can, until I can't put any more in, you are so tight. With your legs wrapped tightly, not wanting to release any of it, I make you so hot for a very long time, until your sweet juices escape from within.

Then I taste you, with my tongue at first, your skin is so soft and tender. I taste more of you with my mouth, you are so hot and moist, you taste so good. Your juices coating my mouth, making me drool in anticipation of eating you more, with every taste. "Oh yes", I say to you, "I must say Grace!" "Thank God for this Butterball Turkey, Amen."

(You ought to be ashamed of those thoughts you were having)

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

What do witches use pencil sharpeners for?
→ To keep their hats pointed.

Did you hear about the egg laden rabbit who jumps off bridges?
→ He's the Easter Bungee!

- What's your new boyfriend like?

- He's mean, nasty, ugly, smelly and totally evil - but he has some bad points too!

What do you call a witch that stays out all night?
→ A fresh air freak.

What do you call a witch who kills her mother and father?
→ An orphan.

What did the young witch say to her mother?
→ Can I have the keys to the broom tonight?