Jokes2Go

Farming Jokes — most viewed jokes

Random joke from this category

Guest
Joke
Save Report

What would happen if we priced our "COWS" using the same criteria the auto industry uses to price a "CAR"?

LIST PRICING A COW

A farmer had been taken several times by the local car dealer. One day, the car dealer informed the farmer that he was coming over to purchase a cow. The farmer priced his unit as follows:

  • BASIC COW: $499.95
  • Shipping and handling: 35.75
  • Extra Stomach: 79.25
  • Two Tone Exterior: 142.10
  • Produce Storage Compartment: 126.50
  • Heavy Duty Straw Chopper: 189.60
  • Four Spigot/High Output Drain System: 149.20
  • Automatic Fly Swatter: 88.50
  • Genuine Cowhide Upholstery: 179.90
  • Deluxe Dual Horns: 59.25
  • Automatic Fertilizer Attachment: 339.40
  • 4X4 Traction Drive Assembly: 884.16
  • Pre-delivery Wash and Comb: 69.80

FARMER'S SUGGESTED LIST PRICE: $2,843.36
Additional Dealer Adjustments: 300.00
TOTAL LIST PRICE (Including Options): $3,143.36

0
0
Guest
Joke
Save Report

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a low voice he sad to his wife:
"When I'm dead I want you to marry farmer Jones."

- Wife: No, I can't marry anyone after you.

- Johnson: But I want you to.

- Wife: But why?

- Johnson: Jones once cheated me in a horse deal!

0
0
Guest
Joke
Save Report

There was this city doctor who started a practice in the countryside. He once had to go to a farm to attend to a sick farmer who lived there. After a few housecalls he stopped coming to the farm.

The puzzled farmer finally phoned him to ask whats the matter, didn't he like him or somethin'.

The doctor replied, "No, its your ducks at the entrance... Every time I enter the farm, they insult me!"

0
0
Guest
Joke
Save Report

An American tourist was visiting a quaint country village, and got talking to a farmer in the local pub. "And have you lived here all your life, Sir?" asked the American.

"Not yet, m'dear," said the farmer wisely.

0
0
Guest
Joke
Save Report

A farmer had three sons. One day his oldest came to him and said that since he was graduating from high school, he would really like to get a car.

His father said, "Son, come here." He took him to the barn and pointed to the tractor and said, "This tractor is needed for the farm and I promise, as soon as it's paid for, we'll get you a car".

The boy was not too happy, but was understanding.

A week later, his second son approached him wanting a motorcycle.

"Well", the father said, "as soon as the tractor is paid for we'll see about getting you your scooter."

Shortly after, his youngest was bugging him for a bike.

Again, the father gave him the lecture about the tractor needing to be paid off first.

While leaving the barn, the young boy, a little disgusted with his father's explanation, saw the farm rooster doing it's rooster duty with one of the hens. He promptly went over and kicked the rooster off the hen's back, mumbling to himself.

His dad asked, "Son, now why would you do something like that? He didn't do anything to deserve that."

The third son replied, "Hey, nobody around here rides anything until that tractor gets paid off!"

0
0