Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

This blonde is so stupid, she called me to get my telephone number!

Why did the blonde get so excited when she finished the jigsaw puzzle after only 6 months?
→ Because on the box it said: From 2-4 years.

After interviewing a particularly short-spoken job candidate, I described the person to my boss as rather monosyllabic.
My boss said, "Really? Where is Monosyllabia?"
Thinking that he was just kidding, I played along and said that it was just south of Elbonia. He replied, "Oh, you mean over by Croatia?"

One day a blonde woman was down on her luck and she needed a quick way to get money.
She saw some kids playing and thought "Hey! Maybe I can kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom!" So she creeps up and snatches one.
So she began to write a note: "I have kidnaped your son and I will give him back if you put 10,000$ on the north side of the tree in the park.
Signed
Blonde."
She sticks the note on the kid and sends him home. The next day she goes to the north side of the tree and in a paper bag was 10,000$.
But there was a note inside saying: "How could you do this to a fellow blonde!?!"

• If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
• If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
• Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
• What do chickens think we taste like?
• What do people in China call their good plates?
• What do you call a male ladybug?
• What hair color do they put on the drivers license of a bald man?
• When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
• When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it?
• Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
• Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
• How is it possible to have a civil war?
• If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown too?
• If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
• If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
• Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids?"
• Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
• If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkey's and apes?
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word lisp to have a "s" in it?
• If a mute swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes. "How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.

"Well they feel a bit tight," replies the man.

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man's feet. "Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says.

"Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth." (DOH!)

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.

An army sergeant told Private Perkins to go to the end of the line. He did, but then returned.

"I thought I told you to go to the end of the line," barked the NCO.

"Why did you come back?"

"Because there's already somebody there!"

I can't understand the critics saying that only an idiot would like that television program. I really enjoyed it.

Hear about the blonde that got an AM radio?
→ It took her a month to realize she could play it at night...