Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Hoot: How the hell can ya be so stupid?

- Jessie: Well, it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight.

Why did the idiot plant nickels in his garden?
→ He wanted to raise some hard cash.

Two guys are bungee-jumping one day. The first guy says to the second. "You know, we could make a lot of money running our own bungee-jumping service in Mexico."

The second guy thinks this is a great idea, so the two pool their money and buy everything they'll need - a tower, an elastic cord, insurance, etc.

They travel to Mexico and begin to set up on the square. As they are constructing the tower, a crowd begins to assemble. Slowly, more and more people gather to watch them at work.

The first guy jumps. He bounces at the end of the cord, but when he comes back up, the second guy notices that he has a few cuts and scratches. Unfortunately, the second guy isn't able catch him, he falls again, bounces and comes back up again.

This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, the second guy misses him. The first guy falls again and bounces back up. This time, he comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious.

Luckily, the second guy finally catches him this time and says, "What happened? Was the cord too long?"

The first guy says, "No, the cord was fine, but what the heck is a 'pinata'?"

I don't know what it is that makes you stupid but whatever it is, it works.

A man frantically calls 911 and says, "help...my wife has gone into labor and her contractions are 10 minutes apart".

- 911: Is this her first child?

- Man: Of course not, you idiot...this is her husband!

Did you hear about the Brooklyn bubblebrain who was two hours late for work because the escalator got stuck?

Wyatt, Milford and Calhoun were standing one on top of the other trying to measure a flag pole.

A man passing by yelled up to them, "Why don't you guys just take down the pole, lay it down on the ground and measure it?"

"We don't wanna measure the length, mister!" Wyatt sneered. "We wanna measure the height!"

Did you hear about the dimwit who was so dumb he thought Gatorade was welfare for crocodiles?

Did you hear about the dumb father who got up and struck a match to see if he had blown out the candle?

Soderling, the star college halfback, was taking a math exam.

The coach desperately needed him to play in the Syracuse game on Saturday, so the professor agreed to give him an oral exam.

"All right," said the prof. "How many degrees are there in a circle?"

"Uh, depends," said the boy. "How big is that there circle?"