Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

- Psychiatrist: What is your problem?

- Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

- Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

- Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

Did you hear about the Baton Rouge bride who cancelled the wedding when she heard her friends were planning to give her a shower?

- Patient: Doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.

- Psychiatrist: Don't let people push you around.

Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
→ It took him four hours to get the bass player out.

Zack and Tybe, two Alabama farm boys, bought themselves a truckload of watermelons for a buck apiece.

They sold each one for a dollar. After counting up their cash, they realized they'd wound up with the same amount of money they'd started out with.

"See!" said Tybe. "Ah told yew we shoulda got a bigger truck!"

A stitch in time saves nine. Nine what?

Are there any unguided missiles?

Are you breaking the law if you drive past those road signs that say "Do Not Pass"?

How can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

Do fat people go skinny-dipping or do they call it fat-dipping?

Crime doesn't pay... does that mean my job is a crime?

Day light savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Do blind dogs have seeing-eye humans?

Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?

Do hummingbirds hum because they don't know the words?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?

When they asked George Washington for his ID, did he just whip out a quarter?

Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?

Does that screwdriver really belong to Phillip?

How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

One Day Stupid, Trouble, and Shut Up were driving along in their car when Trouble suddenly hurled himself out of the window.

Well, Stupid and Shut Up did not know what to do so they went to the police station. When they got there the chief asked them their names.

"Shut Up", replied Shut Up.

"Stupid", replied Stupid.

The police chief thought these people were telling him to shut up, and were calling him stupid. Which made him very mad. "Excuse Me!" shouted the chief.

Thinking the chief was hard of hearing, They once again shouted there names.

"Shut Up!"

"Stupid!"

The police chief was very riled. He then asked" Are you looking for trouble?"!!!

Stunned at the idea of the chief knowing that they were looking for their friend, they replied, "Why yes, how did you know?"

Why is stupid monster like a jack-o'-lantern?
→ They both have empty heads.

Jett was trying to light a match.
He struck the first one and it didn't work, so he threw it away.

He struck the second match. That didn't work either, so he tossed it.
Jett struck the third one and it lit up. "That's a good one!" said the idiot, blowing it out.

"Ah'm gonna save it!"

Why did the blonde scale the chain-link fence?
→ To see what was on the other side.