Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

Soon after the Texas Aggie clocked in for work, the foreman called him over and told him that he had a phone call in the front office. When the Aggie returned, he had a mournful expression on his face and his head hung low. His foreman noticed and asked if he had received bad news.

"Shure was, Boss" he replied, "I just found out that my mother died earlier this morning."

"Gosh, that's awful," replied the foreman. "Do you want the rest of the day off?"

"No," replied the Aggie. "I'll finish the day out."

About an hour later, the foreman returned to inform him that there was another phone call for him up front. This time when the Aggie returned he looked twice as glum and the foreman asked if everything was alright.

"Jezz, Boss this has to be the worst day of my life," Moaned the Aggie. "That was my brother, and his mother died today too!"

A gorilla was walking thru' a jungle when he came across a deer eating grasses in a clearing. The gorilla roared, 'Who's the king of the jungle?', and the deer replied, 'Oh, you are, Master.' The gorilla walked off pleased. Soon he came across a zebra drinking at a water hole. Again, he roared, 'Who's the king of the jungle?', of course, the zebra replied, 'You are, master.' The gorilla walked of pleased. Then he came across an elephant. 'Who's the king of the jungle?', he roared again, at the elephant. With that, the elephant threw the gorilla across a tree and jumped on him.

The gorilla scraped himself up off the ground and said, 'Ok, ok, there's no need to get mad just because you don't know the answer!'

How did the blonde die drinking milk?
→ The cow stepped on her.

What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
→ Frosted Flakes!

What is it when a blonde blows into another blonde's ear?
→ Data transfer.

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
→ "I wonder if it's mine?"

How do you confuse a blonde?
→ Give her a package of M&M's and tell her to put them in alphabetical order.

Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
→ Because she read that one child out of every four born, was Chinese.

Why did the blonde lose her job as an elevator operator?
→ She couldn't learn the route.

Why did the blonde drive around the block fifty-seven times?
→ Her turn signal was stuck.

Why did the blonde ask her friends to save their burned-out light bulbs?
→ She needed them for the darkroom she was building.

Why are the Japanese so smart?
→ No blondes.

Did you hear about the stupid snake?
→ He lost his skin.

What has an IQ of 42?
→ 40 Marines plus their lieutenant

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.

- I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

- Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!

- Patient: Doctor, I have a split personality.

- Psychiatrist: Nurse, bring in another chair!

Did you hear about the Oklahoma idiot who married an American Indian? They had a baby and wanted to name it to reflect both races.
So they called it Running Dummy.

Why did the silly boy take his bicycle to bed with him?
→ Because he didn't want to walk in his sleep.