Dumb Jokes — most viewed jokes

How did the Polish mother teach her son which way to put his underwear on?
→ Yellow in the front, brown in the back!

~WHAT DO YOU CALL A SPICE GIRL WITH TWO BRAIN CELLS? PREGNANT~WHAT DO YOU CALL A SPICE GIRL BEHIND A STEERING WHEEL? AN AIRBAG~WHAT DO YOU SEE WHEN YOU LOOK INTO A SPICE GIRLS EYES? THE BACK OF HER HEAD

A Polak is hired to paint the lines on the road.

On the first day he paints ten miles, and his employers are amazed. But, the second day he painted just five, and on only the third day, he painted only a mile of the road.

Disappointed his boss asks what the problem was.

The Polak replies, "Well sir, every day I have to walk farther and farther to get back to the paint bucket."

There were three men. Joe, Rich, and Scott. They were all camping in the woods, and they knew they had to stop for the night. Joe suggested they stop where they were right there, a nice clear, wooded area. Rich agreed, but Scott disagreed, because there was nothing interesting around, only trees. They kept hiking for a little longer, and came across a small clear area, right next to the highway. Both Joe and Rich wanted to stay there because there was no stumps, or moss around, and the sounds of the cars could help to put them asleep. Scott said no, because he found a small ant farm 500 meters away, and was scared the ants might come, and get them. SO they kept hiking, and finally, they came to the end of the woods, and stepped onto the highway. Scott was mystified, and wanted to sleep right smack dab in the middle of the highway. It was interesting, and he wanted to look at all the different liscence plates, as they drove by. Joe and Rich were so upset, because, obviously, that was the LAST place that they wanted to sleep in! But, they were too tired to argue, so they set up their tent in the middle of the highway and went to sleep. They slept soundly through the night, but were awaked a couple of times by the sound of cars beeping, and crashing. The next morning, they awoke early, and noticed a huge pileup of cars right off the highway, in the spot they had earlier chosen. Feeling proud, Scott said: "See, guys? Imagine what would of happened if we slept there last night!"

yo mama so stupid she worked at an m&m factory and threw out all the W's.

Ask the following to a Blonde to see if she is a DUMB BLONDE or a smart blonde...yeah right...

1. Who do want to be most like in life:
   A) Vanna White
   B) Michelle Fiefer
   C) Britney Spears
   D) None of the Above
2. In a game of Hide-And-Go Seek, do you:
   A) Run when you see the seeker
   B) Stay hiding until the seeker finds you
   C) Run when the seeker sees you
   D) Follow the seeker quietly
3. What happens when you get Alzheimers Disease
   A) You loose alot of weight
   B) Gain weight
   C) Get really smart
   D) Loose your memory
4. How do you kill a bird:
   A) Hit it
   B) Throw it off a building
   C) Cook it
   D) All of the above
5. What's an important question about pregnancy
   A) Is it mine
   B) How far along am I
   C) Is it a boy or girl
   D) What hospital should I go to for delivery

Don't read them this part:

Results:

1. A=5pts. B=3pts. C=2pts. D=1pt.
2. A=4 B=5 C=2 D=3
3. A=4 B=3 C=5 D=1
4. A=3 B=5 C=4 D=1
5. A=5 B=1 C=3 D=2

TOTAL: 20 = Official Dumb Blonde; 15-19 = Pretty Dumb; 10-14 = Not Bad; 9 = Smart for a Blonde

Mr. Richman has 3 daughters. Their names are nobody, somebody and crazy.

One day nobody and somebody are fighting over a fake eyebrow. Then crazy when to the policeman and she said "Nobody and Somebody are fighting" Then the policeman look at her then he said "What are you talking about?" Then she said again "Nobody and Somebody are fighting" Then the policeman said "What? Are you crazy?" Then she said "Yes but how did you know my name?"

- Can you see farther during the day or at night?

- During the day of course.

- Wrong! During the day you can only see the sun but at night you can see the stars.

Once, there were three guys stranded on an island, and the mainland was 100 miles away.

The first guy swam 25 miles, and drowned.

The second guy swam 50 miles, and drowned.

The third guy swam 99 miles, and said, "I'm tired. I think I'll swim back."

There was a guy and he had a girlfriend called Lorraine. She very pretty and he liked her a lot.

One day he went to work to find that a new girl had started working there. Her name was Clearly, and she was absolutely gorgeous.

He began to like her and after a while it became obvious that she was interested in him too. But, he was a loyal man and he wouldn't get involved with Clearly while he was still going out with Lorraine.

He decided that there was nothing for him to do but to break up with Lorraine and date the new girl. He planned several times to tell Lorraine but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

One day as they were walking along the river bank, Lorraine slipped and fell in to the river. The current carried her off and she drowned.

The guy stopped for a moment by the river and then ran off smiling and singing...

"I can see Clearly now Lorraine is gone..."