Random joke from this category
The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. "What seems to be the problem?" the doctor asked. "Well, I, uh," she stammered. "I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac."
"I see," he said. "I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour."
"That's not bad," she replied. "How much for all night?"
- Doctor: Does it hurt when you do this?
- Patient: Yes.
- Doctor: Well, don't do that.
Two children are in a doctor's waiting room, and one of them is crying. "Why are you crying?" asked the other child. "I'm here for a blood test, and they're going to cut my finger." When he heard this, the other child started to cry. "Why are you crying?" "I'm here for a urine test."
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and so he decides to go to see his doctor. "Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night," complains the man.
"Have you tried counting sheep?" inquired the doctor.
The accountant replied, "That's the problem, Doc. I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it!"
- Patient: Doctor, I think I swallowed a pillow.
- Doctor: How do you feel?
- Patient: A little down in the mouth.
An anxious woman goes to her doctor. "Doctor," she asks nervously, "can you get pregnant from anal intercourse?"
"Certainly," replies the doctor, "Where do you think lawyers come from?"
Two gynecologists meet at lunch.
The first one says, "I had a patient this morning with a clit like a dill pickle."
The second one says, "That big or that green?"
The first one says, "That Sour."
A woman hears from her doctor that she has only half a year to live.
The doctor advises her to marry an economist and to live in South Dakota.
The woman asks: will this cure my illness?
The doctor replies: No, but the half year will seem pretty long.
- Doctor! I have a serious problem, I can never remember what I just said.
- When did you first notice this problem?
- What problem?
"How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man's broken leg.
"Well, doc, 25 years ago..."
"Never mind the past! Tell me how you broke your leg this morning."
"Like I was saying... 25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, that night, right after I'd gone to bed, the farmer's beautiful daughter came into my room. She asked me if there was anything I wanted.
I said, "No, everything is fine."
"Are you sure?" she asked.
"I'm sure," I said.
"Isn't there anything I can do for you???" she wanted to know.
"I reckon not," I replied.
"Excuse me," said the doctor, "What the hell does this story have to do with your broken leg?!?!?"
"Well, this morning," the farmhand explained, "when it dawned on me what she meant, I fell off the roof!"
