Dirty Jokes — most viewed jokes

Do you know what an Australian kiss is?
→ It's like a French kiss, but down under.

How do you drown a blonde?
→ Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
→ Don't tell her to swallow.
→ Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

A man, while playing on the front nine of a complicated golf course, became confused as to where he was on the course. Looking around, he saw a lady playing ahead of him. He walked up to her, explained his confusion and asked her if she knew what hole he was playing. She replied, "I'm on the 7th hole, and you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole."

He thanked her and went back to his golf. On the back nine the same thing happened; and he approached her again with the same request. She said, "I'm on the 14th hole, you are a hole behind me, so you must be on the 13th hole." Once again he thanked her and returned to his play.

He finished his round and went to the clubhouse where he saw the same lady sitting at the end of the bar. He asked the bartender if he knew the lady. The bartender said that she was a sales lady and played the course often.

He approached her and said, "Let me buy you a drink in appreciation for your help. I understand that you are in the sales profession. I'm in sales, also. What do you sell?"

She replied, "If I tell you, you'll laugh." "No, I won't."

"Well, if you must know," she answered, "I work for Tampax."

With that, he laughed so hard he almost lost his breath. She said, "See I knew you would laugh."

"That's not what I'm laughing at," he replied. "I'm a salesman for Preparation H, so I'm still a hole behind you!"

Following some duty overseas, the officers at the Fort were planning a welcome home party and dance for the unit. Being an all male combat force, they decided to request coeds from some of the surrounding colleges to attend. The Captain called Vassar and was assured by the Dean that arrangements could be made to send over a dozen of their most trustworthy students.

The Captain hesitated, then said, "Would it also be possible to send a dozen or so of the other kind?"

What do you call 4 blondes laying on the beach?
→ Public access.

Why did the blonde give a blow job after sex?
→ She wanted to have her cock and eat it too.

What is it when a woman talks dirty to a man?
→ $3.99 a minute.

What is the difference between 'like' and 'love'?
→ Spit and swallow!

Have you heard about the couple who got married in a nudist colony?

They wanted everyone to be sure who the best man was!

Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
→ To cover up the valve stem.