Computer Jokes — most viewed jokes

Technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.

I overheard a woman in a computer store say to the sales assistant "I want a game capable of holding the interest of my six-year-old, but it's got to be simple enough for his father to play, too."

Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God. During dinner he told them: I need three important people to send my message out to all the people: "Tomorrow I will destroy the earth."

Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them: "I have two really bad news items for you:

1. God really exists and
2. Tomorrow He will destroy the earth."

Clinton called an emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them: "I have good news and bad news:

1. The GOOD news is that God really does exist
2. The BAD news is, tomorrow He is going to destroy the earth."

Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and very happily announced: "I have two fantastic announcements:

1. I am one of the three most important people on earth
2. The Year 2000 problem is solved."

- Ted: Last night my computer died.

- Ned: What did it die of?

- Ted: A terminal illness

Dear Editor,

I have two brothers, one works at Microsoft, the other was sentenced to death in the gas chamber. My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father sells drugs. Recently, I met a girl who was released from a reformatory where she served time for smothering her illegitimate child to death. I love this girl very much and want to marry her. My problem is this: Shall I tell her about my brother who works at Microsoft?

Sincerely,
Larry

What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address?
→ Slash, slash, backslash, slash, slash, escape.

What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
→ The blonde works in the dark!

- Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I'm a laptop computer.

- You're just run down, let me give you some vitamins.

- No, thanks. But I could do with some new batteries.

A customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the screen and pressing the "send" key.

Which way did the programmer go?
→ He went DATA way!