Random joke from this category
- Patient: How much to have this tooth pulled?
- Dentist: With pain $200 and without pain $100.
- Patient: Well, without pain it's cheaper. Pull it WITHOUT pain.
Without anesthesia neither anything, the dentist begins to extract the tooth, when the patient outcry: Aaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!
Hey, WITH pain it costs $200!!!, replies the dentist.
When the office photo-copies began to look faint, the office manager called in a local repair service.
The friendly technician after inspecting the equipment, informed the manager that the machine was in need of a good cleaning.
The tech suggested that someone might try reading the operator's manual and perform the job themselves, since it would cost $100.00, if he did the work.
Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager asks, "Does your boss know you are discouraging business?"
"Actually, my boss demands we explain this to all our customers."
"After people try first to fix things themselves, we end-up making much more money on repairs."
A well known rich businessman's wife broke her hip. The businessman got the best bone surgeon in town to do the operation. The operation consisted of lining up the broken hip and putting in a screw to secure it. The operation went fine, and the doctor sent the business man a fee for his services of $5000.
The businessman was outraged at the cost, and sent the doctor a letter demanding an itemized list of the costs. The doctor sent back a list with two things:
The businessman never argued.
Where do snowmen keep their money?
→ In a snowbank!
The couple was standing staring at one of the more expensive models in the auto showroom. A salesman sensing their debate over the price moved in and said, "This model is priced just over the car which is priced a few dollars above the car which costs no more than some models of the lowest priced cars."
The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it from.
Dentist to parsimonious patient "No, we give no discount for empty spaces when cleaning and polishing teeth Mrs. Borde!"
An American manufacturer is showing his machine factory to a potential customer from Albania. At noon, when the lunch whistle blows, two thousand men and women immediately stop work and leave the building.
"Your workers, they're escaping!" cries the visitor. "You've got to stop them."
"Don't worry, they'll be back," says the American. And indeed, at exactly one o'clock the whistle blows again, and all the workers return from their break.
When the tour is over, the manufacturer turns to his guest and says, "Well, now, which of these machines would you like to order?"
"Forget the machines," says the visitor. "How much do you want for that whistle?"
What did the ruthless businessman say to his employees?
→ If at first you don't succeed - you're fired!
According to inside contacts, the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of ameliorating. If anything, it's getting worse.
Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, we are hearing that Sumo Bank has gone belly up, and Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches. Karaoke Bank is up for sale, and it is (you guessed it!) going for a song.
Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived, and 500 back-office staff at Karate Bank got the chop. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank, and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.
