Business Jokes — most viewed jokes

What salesman has the slickest line?
→ A hair grease salesman.

A man walks into a shoe store, and tries on a pair of shoes.

"How do they feel?" asks the sales clerk.

"Well they feel a bit tight," replies the man.

The assistant promptly bends down and has a look at the shoes and at the man's feet.

"Try pulling the tongue out," the clerk says.

"Well, theyth sthill feelth a bith tighth."

How can you double your money?
→ By folding it in half.

If you want to get rich, why should you keep your mouth shut?
→ Because silence is golden.

What do you call a credit union volunteer in a room full of bank directors?
→ A superior being.

A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked "How much is 2 + 2?" The housewife replies: "Four!".

The accountant says: "I think it's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures through my spreadsheet one more time."

The lawyer pulls the drapes, dims the lights and asks in a hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"

- Doctor, you have to help me stop talking to myself.

- Why is that?

- I'm a salesman and I keep selling myself things I don't want.

What's the difference between a penis and a bonus?
→ Your wife will always blow your bonus!

Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a want ad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a very nervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself.

"I need someone with an accounting degree," the man said.

"But mainly, I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."

"Excuse me?" the accountant said.

"I worry about a lot of things," the man said. "But I don't want to have to worry about money. Your job will be to take all the money worries off my back."

"I see," the accountant said. "And how much does the job pay?"

"I'll start you at eighty thousand."

"Eighty thousand dollars!" the accountant exclaimed. "How can such a small business afford a sum like that?"

"That," the owner said, "is your first worry."

How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb?
→ Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.