Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

What do you call a blonde that just came out of the closet?
→ The Hide and Seek champion of 1992.

What's the difference between a blonde and a shower?
→ The shower has to be turned on before it gets wet.

How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
→ The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.

An airline captain was breaking in a very pretty new blonde stewardess; the route they were flying had a stay-over in another city. Upon their arrival the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight.

The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up, wondering what happened to her.

She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room.

"You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?"

The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

Two blondes were facing each other with a lake between them. The first blonde wants to get to the other side so she yells to the other blonde, "Hey! I want to get to the other side of the lake but I can't swim. Please tell me how you did this!"

The second blonde then says, "But you ARE on the other side!"

A blonde with two red ears went to her doctor.

The doctor asked her what had happened to her ears and she answered, "I was ironing a shirt and the phone rang - but instead of picking up the phone I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear."

"Oh Dear!" the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.

"But. what happened to your other ear?"

"The son of a bitch called back."

What do you get when you cross a blonde with an ape?
→ A retarded ape.

Did you hear about the new paint on the market?
→ It's called Blonde. It's not very bright, but it spreads easy!

A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results, put on two coats".

What's the difference between Elvis and a smart blonde?
→ Elvis has been sighted.