Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why are blondes so easy to get into bed?
→ Who cares?

What do you do if a blond throws a grenade at you?
→ Pull the pin and throw it back.

Three blondes were driving down the highway trying to get to Disneyland. They saw a sign that read 'DisneyLand Left.' So they went home.

A fellow dies, goes to hell, and is surprised when confronted by a room full of beautiful blondes and kegs of beer. He asks a nearby demon if this is really hell, and what was so bad about the place.

"Well," said the demon, "the kegs all have holes in the bottoms, and the blondes don't!"

A blonde gets on an airplane and sits down in the first class section of the plane. The stewardess rushes over to her and tells her she must move to coach because she doesn't have a first class ticket. The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job, and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica."

The disgusted stewardess gets the head stewardess who asks the blonde to leave. The blonde yet again repeats "I'm blonde, I'm smart, I have a good job and I'm staying in first class until we reach Jamaica." The head stewardesses doesn't even know what to do at this point because they still have to get the rest of the passengers seated to take off; the blode is causing a problem with boarding now, so the stewardess gets the copilot.

The copilot goes up to the blonde and whispers in her ear. She immediately gets up and goes to her seat in the coach section. The head stewardess asks the copilot in amazement what he said to get her to move to her correct seat. The copilot replies, "I told her the front half of the airplane wasn't going to Jamaica."

There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.

So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.

A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building... he suddenly notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks: "why the hell did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?"

The blond answers in a very weak voice: "we wanted to try out our new maxi-pads with wings"...

What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
→ Hey! There's some things even a blonde won't do.

Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:

- Blonde One: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

- Blonde Two: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder! it's starting to rain, and the top is down!

Two blondes observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger.

- Blonde #1: I can't seem to get this door unlocked!

- Blonde #2: Well, you'd better hurry up and try harder, its starting to rain and the top is down!