Blonde Jokes — most viewed jokes

How do you break a blonde's nose?
→ Place a dildo under a glass table!

A blond sees a brunette standing in the middle of the highway.

The brunette keeps saying, "88, 88, 88..."

The blond calls to her as the cars and trucks wizz past.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm counting cars," comes the reply. "Want to help?"

"Sure!" says the blond. She walks out to the middle of the highway to the brunette and starts saying "88, 88, 88.."

All the time the cars are dodging the two woman. Then a big semi drives by and runs over the blond. The brunnette calmly walks down the highway, picks a new spot, and starts muttering, "89, 89, 89..."

What do you see when you look into a blondes eyes?
→ The back of her head.

- Blonde: Excuse me, what time is it right now?

- Woman: It's 11:25PM.

- Blonde: (confused look on face) You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer.

Two blondes were walking through the woods and they came to some tracks. The first blonde said "These look like deer tracks." The other said, "No, they look like moose tracks." They argued and argued and were still arguing when the train hit them.

A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday decided to go ice fishing to make good use of her gift. Early the next morning, she got all her gear together and headed out to the ice.

When she reached her final destination, she cut a large hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: "There are no fish in there".

So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, but then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish in there.

So she moves again, and the voice tells her there are no fish in there. So she looks up and sees an irritated man staring down at her.

"How do you know there are no fish there?" asks the blonde.

So the man cooly says "Well first of all, this is a hockey rink, and second of all, you're going to have to pay for those holes."

What is the smartest blonde?
→ A golden retriever

Why couldn't the blond pass her drivers test?
→ Every time the car stopped she jumped in the backseat.

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead went into a bar and ordered their drinks from the bartender.

- Brunette: "I'll have a B and C."

- Bartender: "What is a B and C?"

- Brunette: "Bourbon and Coke."

- Redhead: "And, I'll have a G and T."

- Bartender: "What's a G and T?"

- Redhead: "Gin and tonic."

- Blonde: "I'll have a 15."

- Bartender: "What's a 15?"

- Blonde: "7 and 7"

A blonde goes into the beauty and hair parlor with her walkman on her head.

"I need to take that walkman off your head," says the beauty specialist as she notices the blonde.

"You can't! I'll die!" retorts the blonde.

"I can't cut your hair with the walkman on your ears!" says the beauty specialist getting annoyed.

"I said you can't take it off, or I'll die!"

The beauty specialist, outraged and flustered, grabs the walkman and throws it off the head of the blonde. Within seconds, the blonde dies. When the specialist picks up the walkman to listen, she hears it repeating "breath in, breath out, breath in".