Random joke from this category
The new employee stood before the paper shredder looking confused.
"Need some help?" a secretary asked.
"Yes," he replied. "How does this thing work?"
"Simple," she said, taking the fat report from his hand and feeding it into the shredder.
"Thanks, but where do the copies come out?"
An unmarried girl who worked in a busy office arrived one morning and began passing out big cigars and candy, both tied with blue ribbons. When asked what the occasion was, she proudly displayed a new diamond solitaire ring on her third finger, left hand, and announced...
"It's a boy, six feet tall and 190 pounds!"
How many Studio Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ We don't know. Light bulbs last longer than studio executives.
Why do bakers work so hard?
→ Because they need the dough
In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it -- "THINK!"
The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read -- "THOAP!"
How many 1st AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Why are you asking me that question? Can't you see I'm busy!
How many PA's does it take to screw in a light bulb?
→ Nine........one to do it and eight others to wish they'd been asked.
The boss called one of his employees into the office.
"Rob," he said, "you've been with the company for a year. You started off in the post room, one week later you were promoted to a sales position, and one month after that you were promoted to district manager of the sales department.
"Just four short months later, you were promoted to vice-chairman. Now it's time for me to retire, and I want you to take over the company.
"What do you say to that?"
"Thanks," said the employee.
"Thanks?" the boss replied. "Is that all you can say?"
"I suppose not," the employee said.
"Thanks, Dad."
Always give 100% at work.......
And remember .......
When you're having a really bad day and it seems like people are trying to piss you off, remember it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend your finger and flip them off.
Now get back to work!
A musician calls the orchestra office, asks for the conductor, and is told that he is dead.
The musician calls back 25 times more and gets the same message from receptionist.
She asks why he keeps calling. He replies, "I just like to hear you say it."
