Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

Why do hummingbirds hum?
→ They forgot the words......

What happened when a frog joined the cricket team?
→ He bowled long hops!

A girl sees three dogs in the park and kneels down to pet them. "What's your name?" she asks the first. To her surprise, the dog answers "My name's Huey and I'm having a great day going in and out of puddles." She goes up to the second dog and asks "What's your name?" The dog replies "My name's Duey and I'm having a great day going in and out of puddles." She turns to the third dog and says "I suppose you're going to tell me your names Luey and you're having a great day going in and out of puddles." The dog replies "No, I'm having a fucking miserable day and my name is Puddles."

Lawyers don't hunt elephants, but they do follow the herds around arguing about who owns the droppings. Software lawyers will claim that they own an entire herd based on the look and feel of one dropping.

How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
→ Down in the mouth!

What did the baby chick say to his mummy when she laid an Orange?
→ "Look what Marma-Lade!!"

A blind man was standing on the corner with his dog when the dog raised his leg and wet on the man's trouser leg. The man reached in his pocket and took out a doggie biscuit, which he fed to the dog. A busy body who had been watching ran up to him and said:

- You shouldn't do that. He'll never learn anything if you reward him when he does something like that!

The blind man retorted:

- I'm not rewarding him. I'm just trying to find which end is his mouth so that I can kick him in the ass.

What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
→ Star Warts!

What do elephants use for tampoons?
→ Sheep.

Why didn't the internit get any e-mail?
→ Because his e-dog kept chasing the e-postman.