Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What's the definition of a narrow squeak?
→ A thin mouse!

What do you call a gay dinosaur?
→ A megasorass.

Why did the mouse eat a candle?
→ For some light refreshment!

How do mice celebrate when they move home?
→ With a mouse warming party

Do you know what a dog and a screen door have in common?
→ the more you bang them the looser they get.

What do toads drink?
→ Croaka-cola!

Why didn't the female frog lay eggs?
→ Because her husband spawned her affections!

Mike Mooney, a Yankee was driving through the south when he decided he wanted to buy a pig. He stopped at a pig farm and told the farmer he wanted to buy a 100 pound pig. The farmer nodded, walked out into the sty, bent over and picked up a pig by its tail with his teeth. The farmer said:

- This one will go a little over a 100

Astonished the Yankee said:

- Who are you trying to fool? You can't weigh a pig that way

The farmer laughed and called to his young son:

- Boy, come over here and weigh that pig for this man

The boy obliged by bending over and picking up the pig by its tail with his teeth. Turning to his father the boy said:

- This here pig weighs about 100 pounds

The Yankee was having no part of this so in order to convince him the farmer told his son to go to the house and get his mother so she could weigh the pig. After a short delay the son returned and said:

- Ma says she will be right down after she's finished weighing the mailman

What do you call an elephant that flies?
→ A jumbo jet!

Whats white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
→ A hot frog!