Animal Jokes — most viewed jokes

What's the worst thing about washing your cat?
→ Getting the fur off your tongue afterwards.

Why do mice have long tails?
→ Well, they'd look silly with long hair!

A mother was reading a book about animals to her 3 year old daughter.

- Mother: What does the cow say?

- Child: Moo!

- Mother: Great! What does the cat say?

- Child: Meow.

- Mother: Oh, you're so smart! What does the frog say?

And this wide-eyed little 3 year-old looked up at her mother and in her deepest voice replied:

- Bud.

What do frogs drink?
→ Hot croako!

A black guy walks into a tavern with a parrot on his shoulder... the bartender looks up and says:

- Where the hell did you get that thing?

The Parrot replies:

- Over in Africa, there's millions of them!!!

What does a twelve-pound mouse say to a cat?
→ "Here Kitty, kitty, kitty"!

What do insects learn at school?
→ Mothmatics!

What do rodents say when they play bingo?
→ "Eyes down for a full mouse"!

What does a spider do when he gets angry?
→ He goes up the wall!

A man rented a camel to make a trip to an important customer out in the desert. There was only one camel available, and it had one little problem, the guy told him. Periodically, this camel would stop and refuse to move until somebody beat it off. The man is desperate, so he decides he will go along with that. He sets off into the desert. Sure as hell, he has to beat off the camel every day for the first three days. On the fourth day, the camel stops again and refuses to move, so the guy gets down and prepares to do his duty, but the camel quickly steps aside. He tries again, And again. Finally in exasperation he walks in front of the camel and says "For Christ's sake, what do you want now?" The camel puckers up and makes little sucking noises.